Fight Or Flight
by Euria Diamond
Summary: D&Hr One shot. Draco, ridden with guilt and trying to get out of the hole hes dug himself, reflects on his relationship with Hermione and how things went from great to worse. It's time for him to make a decision and find the truth in himself.


**JKR OWNS. **

present is regular font, flashbacks are in italics.

I do have some editing to do.

i see now that there are spelling mistakes and i plan on correcting them, and defining the time line like people suggested And I'll do it the second I get a chance!

**Fight Or Flight**

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Within walking distance of the Leaky Cauldron, there was a flat. Just big enough for two people to live comfortably, and small enough to afford on first-job salaries. The sitting room was dark, and the curtains were drawn, keeping out the afternoon light. Draco Malfoy sat in the large recliner chair diagonal from the fireplace. Beside him was a couch and further behind led into the kitchen, a small, cosy area with a dining table for four. Two candles stood at the centre, not lit, but evidently they had been burned. A single, dim light came from the bedroom. The bed, pushed against the window, was undisturbed. The only actual evidence of life was in the charm bracelet on the bureau and the pile of magical moving photographs at the foot of the bed.

Draco sat in the darkness, a small amount of light sliding through the closed curtains; the sun hadn't set yet. He sat staring at the spot on the carpet, a wine stain. He could remember when it was made. It was a happy time.

_He had come home a bit later than usual, but Hermione had been steps ahead of him. He apparated into the apartment to a glowing fire and candlelight sometime in December. He tossed his coat on the hook nearby and crossed to the kitchen, where Hermione stood next to the table on which were two blazing candles and an empty wine glass. Draco hardy noticed the décor at first and brought his attention to Hermione._

_"Evening." He kissed her cheek. She smiled and brought her hands to his face, pulling him back to kiss him on the lips._

_"Good day?" he inquired._

_"I certainly hope so," she replied, smiling widely._

_Draco looked around, now seeing the setting. He glanced at the wine bottle a few feet away. There was only one glass, but she had bought his favourite. It was a muggle wine and at £75 a bottle, it was very un-Hermione._

_"Should I know something?" he asked, crossing over to fill the empty glass with wine and held it out for her to take._

_Hermione shook her head. "No thanks. I shouldn't."_

_Draco gave her a questioning look. "You spent that money and you don't want any?"_

_"No, It's just, I can't."_

_"What are you, pregnant?" He laughed a little, but stopped when Hermione wasn't laughing._

_Hermione took a deep breath and bit her lip briefly, considering him for a moment before nodding slowly. "Yes. Yes I am."_

_Draco held his breath for a moment. At first he was too stunned and couldn't say anything. He only opened and closed his mouth several times before collecting his thoughts. "Serious?"_

_Hermione nodded, looking for any hint in his body language. But before she knew it, Draco had swept her into a nearly bone-crushing hug, causing him to slop the wine in his hand down onto the carpet. She laughed as he turned to look at the liquid on the floor._

_"Oh, damn."_

_"No, no forget it," Hermione said, "I'll get it later."_

_They never remembered to clean it. By the time they did, the stain was set, and there was no getting it out. Sure, magic would have been fine, but they never remembered to do it._

_Draco turned back to Hermione and smiled. A rare, genuine grin._

_"So, this is it?"_

_Hermione nodded, unable to keep from smiling. "This is it." He put an arm around her waist and pulled her closer, their foreheads met. Draco inhaled her familiar scent._

_"You're sure you're not freaked out by this?" Hermione sounded concerned. Draco said nothing, only smiled again and leaned in to kiss her._

_He bought her a new charm for her bracelet the next day. It was a tradition they had started when they moved in together. A charm for an occasion. It was a fireplace when they moved in, a snowflake for their first holiday season together, and a sword for their first fight they overcame. He didn't know what to choose at this point. He thought that something blatantly saying 'It's a-' would be tacky. She was worth more than that. She helped him more than she knew. He opted for a picket fence; with 'Thank You' inscribed on they back._

_Hermione had eyed it curiously. "Thank you for what?" she asked._

_He smiled. "For allowing me the change to correct my father's mistakes." She smiled at that, a proud, hopeful smile._

_Days passed, and then weeks. Draco and Hermione lived their lives as normal as possible, both still working full time. Sharing and celebrating brought them closer than ever at the beginning. Hermione's parents were thrilled, not knowing the Malfoy history. Harry and Ron accepted it, and moved on. They were happy for her. After the war, Draco began to break ties with his family. He told them the news, but their response wasn't as warm._

_Other than Hermione's morning sickness, not much changed as the New Year started. Through January Hermione still wasn't showing and her odd cravings were only once or twice a week._

_Draco came home one afternoon towards the beginning of February._

_"Oh good," Hermione greeted, "You're just in time."_

_"In time for…" Draco mentally kicked himself; he must have forgotten something again._

_"Doctors appointment…in this little place we call the muggle world…ring any bells? Draco, you agreed to this weeks ago!"_

_He sighed. "Can I make the next one? Work was absolutely mad and I could use a rest."_

_"You could use a rest?" Hermione snapped. "Well fine, I'll go alone." She crossed to the door and grabbed her coat. "Does this mean you're cooking?" she asked bitterly, and left, slamming the door._

_Draco practically ignored her mood swings now and poured a glass of wine. He did indeed spend the afternoon cooking and sipping wine. That is, after a nap. Hermione came home a few hours later. He suspected she had dropped in on her parents or some friends while she was out. But she was still seething. Draco took her coat._

_"How'd it go?"_

_"Fine." She sounded a bit edgy._

_After hanging up her coat he greeted her with a kiss and held her from walking away. "Sorry about before." He whispered. "I should have just gone. You are the one pregnant. Forgive me?"_

_Hermione smelled the wine. "Perhaps after you sober up a bit." She slid from his grasp and continued to the bedroom, where Draco followed and stood on the doorway._

_"Don't be like that," he said quietly. Hermione ran a brush through her thick hair_

_"Like what exactly?" she said, keeping her gaze in the mirror, away from him._

_He came up behind her and put his arms around her, his hands resting on her stomach. "Don't sound all disappointed," he mumbled. "I said I was sorry."_

_Hermione put the silver brush down on the bureau with a gentle metal clank. She put her hands over Draco's as he looked at their reflection in the mirror. Nobody would have placed them together. Even after the war. He sometimes couldn't believe it himself, how much he cared, how much he did love Hermione._

Draco passed a nearly empty bottle of firewhisky between his hands, considering it, as he always did. It was better than looking at the stain. The stain that always held is attention. Around the same time, for almost a week he had the same routine. Now, he stood up slowly, the pounding in his head finally beginning to subside. Leaving the firewhisky on the kitchen table, he went into the bedroom. The topmost photograph caught his attention. The picture was of Hermione and her parents, one of their visits to the flat…sometime in February. Hermione had only been three months along, and a bump was barely visible from the photo.

Draco looked up, into the mirror. He saw his tired, dishevelled reflection staring back at him and sighed. It was time to make a change. He had changed once. Hermione had done something to him. It was a slow process, but she had something in her that turned his view of life around completely. He did it once; it was time to do it again. Every other night that week he would wait and wait until it was too late. Then he'd find the bottle of firewhisky and stay up until the early hours of ht morning. After falling asleep, never in the bed, but always alone. He would sit in the chair when he awoke and think. Replaying the last three years of his life over and over.

Tonight felt different. Then again, he said that about every night.

He glanced down to the silver charm bracelet. He added a new charm without telling her. He saw looking at the miniature silver ring and diamond-like stone attached to the bracelet for what felt like ages. It was his fault. He knew that.

_It began with just a glass of white wine at munch. When work was hectic, Draco needed to unwind. It didn't hurt. He often got headaches and had another glass at dinner while Hermione sipped water and questioned him about work. She was almost completely house bound._

_As Hermione's symptoms worsened and she began more frequent middle of the night needs Draco was often up late and would have a craving for a small amount of firewhisky before settling down. This became reasonably routine; Hermione didn't think much of it._

_Her emotional swings worsened and in returns Draco's once glass at lunch became two, dinner became three more. It got to the point where Hermione would only talk to him if he hadn't had more than one glass; they didn't talk much. Until one day nothing went right. Draco was looking for the wine after one of the worst days he had had in along time, but he couldn't seem to find it._

_"I threw it out," Hermione said matter-of-factly._

_Draco smiled at her sympathetically. "Honey, love, darling." He felt her forehead. "Why would you do something like that? Is the baby getting to you?"_

_She took his hand from her head. "Draco, the baby is floating in fluid, I'm fine." She took a pan off the stove and transferred its contents into a dish. "I just thought since I can't drink it would be good for you to join me."_

_"What?"_

_Hermione sighed. "And I do think that you've been drinking a little excessively lately…"_

_"That's not true!"_

_"Draco, nearly six glasses of wine, bus another four or five…what is it…night caps? Is a little excessive." She remained calm. Draco could tell if was one of her 'weak' days, but it didn't register._

_"So I'm still working full time, taking care of you and your damned symptoms and get nothing? Okay, just wanted to check." He began to raise his voice._

_Hermione lowered her voice. "I am carrying this child – our child – for us. Doing anything and everything that I can to make sure everything is okay. Don't you think that's reward enough?" she stayed completely serene as she crossed to the doorway. She needed to get out. Anywhere. "If you don't think so, Draco, just say the word and you…you don't have to be a part of this anymore."_

_She seemed to have struck a nerve, Draco felt himself breakdown inside. "Hermione, you don't mean that. You know I don't feel that way at all." He approached her again and took her hands, trying to catch her eye. "I love you. You know that."_

_Hermione smiled sadly and gently brought her hands to his face. "You're going through something. I know it. Whether it's nerves, fear of being like your father, fine, I get it. But it feels like you're backing down._

_"I'm not trying to-_

_"__I know you're not trying__ to, but it's happening." Hermione went to the door and pulled her coat off the hook. "I think I'll go out and visit Ginny and Harry for a while, maybe a few days." Draco moved to protest but she didn't let him. "Just think things through. I want you to be happy." And she left, and didn't return._

Draco stood up from the bed and took the bracelet off the bureau, pocketing it. He left the bedroom and proceeded to light the candles on the table and tidy up the kitchen, as he always did. He put the bottle of firewhisky under the sink, mentally making a note to toss it later, and looked up at the clock. 9:45. It would never be later than 10. He didn't know at first why he bothered. Why he went through the same schedule day after day. Not working, drinking himself to sleep when he was alone once again. Hermione was right; he was afraid. He was afraid that he wouldn't be good enough, afraid that the Malfoy in him would turn him into his father. He didn't want it. That though scared him the most. Hermione had him convinced he had changed, but he never really believed it himself. He was afraid.

He reached into his picket and felt the cold silver bracelet and the box next to hit. He thought for a moment. He knew that being away from his child wouldn't make him happy, or take away his fears. He was scared; there was no doubting it. But he loved what he had much more. He just hoped that he wouldn't chicken out again.

A crack sounded in the bedroom and Draco jumped. He hoped it wasn't his imagination. He returned to the doorway, Hermione was back.

"Oh…you're here." She said quietly, standing at the far corner, near the bathroom door.

"Of course I am…"

Hermione ran to him, around the bed and into his arms like a child. He was nearly knocked over; lack of sleep made his body tired. He held her though, almost hesitant at first. She rested her head beneath his chin.

"I am _so_ sorry. I hated being away…"

Draco laughed in his chest. "I have more to be sorry for don't you think?"

Hermione pulled back and smiled. "Well, yes." She pushed his hair out of his face. "You look tired." She used her famous concerned tone.

He gave her a strained smile. "A bit." He felt something new in him now that she was back. She was back and things were actually going to be okay. "Come here." He took her hand and sat her down on the bed, sitting next to her. "I've been thinking. I didn't have a choice really. You were right…I think I am scared. I honestly…don't think…I don't think I've ever been this scared in my life."

"I didn't want to be right." Hermione mumbled, staring at her hands.

"Thought you'd be used to it by now," he joked. Hermione smiled. "But I'm glad you were. These last few weeks…I don't know what happened. I thought it was work or your crazy cravings, but I can't point blame. I let it get out of control…"

"Draco," Hermione interrupted, "Where are you going with this."

He shook his head. "I needed to make a decision. And after thinking about it, it was actually one of the easiest to make, I just had to come up with the nerve. And well…I did." He fumbled in his pocket and went past the bracelet and pulled out the small box. "Hermione, I love you. You turned me around. Who knows where I'd be…and what I'd be doing…. And you need to not just know it and hear it, but believe it too. Everyday." Hermione had been holding her breath. She didn't know where this was going. When he first told her that he made a decision she thought it was for the worse. Draco opened the box and she let out a soft, "Oh."

She closed her eyes and then opened them again, as if they were deceiving her.

"I…I um…expecting," she stuttered.

In the box was a ring, a near exact match to the ring on the bracelet, in life size, that she hadn't seen yet.

"You're asking me-" she was still dumbstruck.

"Yes." Draco took a breath. "I'm asking you to marry me."

"Wow." She was hesitating, Draco got worried for a moment. He hadn't thought about what he'd do if she said no.

"And not because I feel like I have to," he said hurriedly. "I…I want to."

Hermione took her stare from the sparking diamond and looked at Draco. "Me too." There was that grin again. It wasn't seen much, but when his face held it, it meant a lot. He slid the ring on her finder and instantly his heart felt lighter. Everything was really going to be all right. This must have been what she was waiting for because he could see the happiness in her eyes. He leaned down and kissed her, a hand on her belly, which was growing steadily.

"So, who do we write to first?"

Hermione sighed. "No one. Lets wait a day at least. Keep it just between us." She stood up. "I have to get some things at Ginny and Harry's-"

"Isn't it a bit late?" Draco pleaded. He didn't exactly want her leaving again.

She smiled, "I'll be right back." Draco pulled her back when she stepped away.

"I love you," he whispered, staring up at her.

"I know." It wasn't arrogant, but sincere. She smiled. "We'll go out to breakfast tomorrow. You should try and get some sleep." With that, she disapparated once again. It wasn't until after she left that Draco realized he had forgotten to show her the bracelet. _Tomorrow,_ he thought. At this point, they had forever.

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A/N: The end is quite fluffy, but I couldn't help myself! Please review, I appreciate it all! If you haven't already, I'd love it if you checked out my other stories. 

xx: Euria


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